Loo and Verne's Night Out

The Celtic Cup a wonderful coffee shop was the place where it all took place. Uncle Don Clark was performing on Black Friday, and I absolutely love his music and could not wait to see him perform, which could explain my behavior earlier in the day whilst shopping. So with my faux leather jacket on and my parents at my flanks we go to enjoy free live music and perhaps a grilled cheese and hot cocoa. We arrive to find Don already into the first set and the wonderful smell of fresh coffee. While ordering my grilled cheese and hot cocoa I see a familiar face. Verne! Her little mama and husband at her flanks walked in like the Celtic Cup mafia. As I squealed out in delight, the waitress lost all sense and charged Vernes chai latte to my account. 30 minutes later we had the situation corrected. My nephew Tanner found us a corner table and grabbed a newspaper to cover his face, by this time the crowd discovered that Loo and Verne had arrived and assumed it was show time. Verne knocked Uncle Don off the stage and announced that we were not Loo and Verne just Regis and Kelly having coffee. Smart move Verne! After the meet and greet we enjoyed awesome Uncle Don Clark music and sandwiches. Then Verne took over a lovely couples table and took over their scones. Leaving her husband to sit with the 3 blue haired cougars as she was jealous of the 97 year olds texting abilities. Poor Verne! Or should I say poor Don, blu haired followers.
My parents and Tanner kept Vernes hubby and little mama company while we signed autographs only to be interrupted by a strong blueberry odor. Verne then got a wild look in her eyes jumped across the table and demanded a blueberry poptart! I had to call in the swat team to calm her down and explain that a place that sells gelato does not have poptarts but was making scones.
After that we listened to the final set of music toes tapping and hearts full of love and Verne full of poptarts.

Black Eye'd Friday or Shopping With LOO

   Well, I think I know why it is called Black Friday--black eyes.  Maybe even Black and Blue Friday would be better.  See it all started when Loo decided that she was going to ride the Wal-mart scooter to the back where the Sparkle Plenty Barbie Dolls were.  I told her she'd never get it close enough to the shelf to be able to reach one before she got trampled.  She said, "Hide and watch me, Verne!"  Loo, always gets a little testy when you tell her she "can't" do something.
    She took off at mach 10 toward the toy department. She was going so fast that she knocked down the Twilight book display.  I knew she was oblivious when she didn't stop, pick up one of the books and kiss the photo of Edward on the front--she is always doing that you know.   Then she knocked over this 40 something woman dressed in cougar print and stretch pants who was ogling a Jonas Brothers' poster.  It was the saddest thing I had ever seen.  She was mad with purpose--to get the coveted Sparkle Plenty Barbie Doll.
    She skidded sideways as she came to where they were and there was this poor little old lady who had to be at least 80  reaching out her sweet little old wrinkledly hand when all of a sudden, Loo, wild-eyed and frothing at the mouth, jumped off the scooted and walloped the poor little woman with a set of floor mats she had managed to get tangled up in the basket of her scooter as she careened through the automotive aisle.
   I begged her to stop but she just kept swatting the little blue hair until she let go of the doll.  Loo, snatched it and was gone!!!!  I stayed behind to help pick up hair pins and false teeth which were covering the floor by this time and apologized profusely to her on Loo's behalf.  I had to explain that Loo had been a little "off:" ever since her knee surgery.  I don't think she believed me, the last time I saw her she was staggering to the health and beauty aisle to get some Advil and bandaides.
    Loo was flying through the store waving her ill gotten loot screaming, "I GOT THE BARBIE!!!"  I decided it was time for a little damage control so I took off after her, only to be tripped by a Wal-mart employee stocking the shelves with Soltice.  I went skidding across the floor right under this guy who had just come from a meeting of the Scottish Rites.  He was wearing a kilt---and we all know what they wear under kilts.
    So there I lay, prostrate on the floor, stunned beyond words, staring up at this guy's Scottish Rites, as Loo made another mad dash through shouting "WOOOOOO HOOOOOO!"  They called the ambulance and that is the last I remember--for I managed to crawl to the school supply aisle and glue my eyes shut with crazy glue--I never wanted to see again!
    So whoever gets the Sparkle Plenty Barbie please know, it was blood sweat and tears that brought that doll to you and when they release Loo and me from jail (I shall be in the infirmary trying to get my eyes back open) come by and have some hot chocolate. We love you, come see us!

A Thanksgiving Day Resolution

     You know Loo, today was a great family day.  Every year my sweet little Daddy asks the blessing over the Thanksgiving meal, but today it just seemed sweeter.  I am 50 years old--there, now you know- and for at least forty-six of those years I have listened to him ask God's blessing on each person around the table.  Today was special because, for the first time in my life I realized, at the age of 82, there will not be forty-six more years of listening to him bless our food.  It was with mixed emotions I enjoyed his petition to God to bless each one there today.  At one time he called us each by name, but because of his great legacy and the generations he has grandfathered, the house is getting a little full, making it impossible for him to remember the names of each and every one of us.
       I have a new grandbaby coming soon, and I have been contemplating this "family" thing.  With the passing of my sweet little Grannie two years ago, my mortality began to wave at me from the distance.  Life is an earthly gathering where people come and people go, and the best we can do is enjoy them while they are here.  So, even though it is not New Years Day yet, I am making a resolution to enjoy my family more.  To take notes of their little triumphs, heartbreaks and quirky little habits that make them who they are.  To savor the differences we have and laugh at the similarities  we share involuntarily. 
      I don't know who this new little baby is going to be yet.  I don't even know if it is a boy or girl. It is like having a wrapped present that says, "DO NOT OPEN UNTIL..." and the anticipation is mounting everyday.  But, what I do know about this little person is that he or she will be a perfect blend of each and every person I love dearly.  The first time I hold this baby in my arms will be like opening a fresh new journal and writing, "Once Upon a Time. . .  .".  The story will unwind for years to come and I will want to read every single word.
    I have no idea how many more Thanksgiving Day Blessings my Daddy will give, he may even pray over my empty vessel before he's gone. Thankfully I don't know how the story ends.  All I can do, is live, love and cherish those who are coming and those who are going.  Then, in my still, quiet hours, I will be able to pull out those mentally illustrated journals to read, and reread the lives of those whom I love so dearly.  It is then, I will be truly thankful that I took the time to learn them well.
   

Thanksgiving

I have been extremely excited about Thanksgiving this year. Where its coming from I do not know, perhaps its because I don't have to work? You see I had knee surgery in September that I'm Still recovering from, but that's another post. I am a paramedic and holidays off well we miss too many.Again that is another post. Perhaps it is the daily postings of my fellow Facebook cohorts stating what they have been thankful for all this month? Its so very nice to see family at the top of most everyones list. I have much to be thankful for and it all could not fit on this page. We must remember those who need a little help whether it be a smile or food. Tomorrow Turkeys will be carved, Verne I'm expecting tofurkey, pumpkin pies will be burnt, I mean eaten and waistbands will expand. But most of all let's be thankful for togetherness, love, and blessings. Even when uninvited guests show up and all you have is popcorn, pretzels, and toast. As I am writing this people are cooking, cleaning, and drinking oops, sitting the table all anxious to see what cougarish outfit Verne will wear this year! Maybe she has toned it down, but from the looks of a recent profile picture I saw all I can say is big hair is back! Don't light any candles around the white rain do or the smell of singed hair may be all that lingers. And the volunteer fire department will all be celebrating with their families so a quick extinguish is out of the question. So Verne to you and our 2 fans Happy Thanksgiving!!!

reflection part one

Tonight I had the opportunity to watch my original hometown basketball team play my current hometown team.My emotions were mixed, I was in good company a mixture of old friends and new. The excitement was thick in the gymnasium. The hardwood floor freshly buffed and shined brightly, reflecting the efforts of tonights opponents. One team dressed in purple and gold the other in white and red, each determined to out play the other, to leave more sweat,heart'and soul on the court. As I'm making my rounds doing a meet and greet I hear the buzzer, indicating tip off is about to begin. I quickly take my seat, the referees whistle blows, purple & gold get the tip and go in for the easy lay up. 2 points! The score jumps back and forth as the first quarter jitters beging to fade. The squeak of their shoes, brings back memories of a time when I was on this very court down 20 points at the end of the first half with no hope in sight. We were outsized and out of our league said the doubters. You see we entered this court the underdogs an elementary school team who couldn't play with the high school teams. Who did they think they were? Sure they had girls 6 foot plus in height our best was 5'6” but we had the pride of our sister's winning the state championship just a couple years earlier. We came out of the lockerroom that second half and feed on the spirit only true dedication can bring as we ended up winning by 1 point and quieted the opponents. Tonight I seen young women those I had watched grow up from babies, play with the same fight and desire as I had so many years ago. I was silently living out my dreams for being a teenager was hard for Me, I quit the only thing that made Me truly happy. I will never know if Pat Summit could make me cry or if Duke University needed a short power forward. What I do know is some of the best years of my life got played on the basketball court along with friendships and bonds that will never break. And in case any of you are wondering the purple and gold won out tonight 59 to 45.

Loo Seeks Divine Intervention for New Moon Date

As you may know by now, it is time for me to spiff up my image just a little.  Loo has been on to me to get rid of my blue hair and try as I might, there is always one that makes it through the purple, pink and bleach white process.  I am just going to pluck it out. Anyway, my question is where can I get hold of skinny tight cougar leggings in a size 24W? I have been looking everywhere, but then I keep getting these strange looks and one store slammed the door and turned the "closed" sign over.  I was so depressed I went to Mary's for a hot molten cake with a side of chocolate pie.

I invited Loo to come, but apparently she has decided to take up yoga. And apparently chocolate is off her list--she has replaced it with grub worms and tofu.  Anyway,  I don't know why anyone with a messed up knee would take up yoga.  Maybe she wants to meditate.  Maybe she wants to limber up.  Maybe she has designs on that hot young yogini who just moved into the neighborhood.  I have tried to convinced her that he is gay, but she won't have any of it.  She says there is no way a man that hot could be gay!  I told her there is no way a man can wear THOSE PANTS and NOT be gay.

So we are going to conduct blind comparison research.  We are going to go to the next yoga class and bring along Billy Bob Bubba Roy, the most notorious homophobe in our area.  However, because we can't talk him into wearing leotards for obvious reasons, we are going to dress him in his thermal underwear.  Then, sitting as near to  the front as possible, we shall  look for reactions from the yogini.  If we leave there with Billy Bob Bubba Roy holding him in a head lock and pounding it with his fist, we will KNOW he is indeed gay.  If not Loo will have a sure date for New Moon, next week.  So follow along and see what happens.

P.S. Loo have you seen my cougar print leotards?

makeover

After seeing Vernes Facebook picture I'm very disturbed. It seems that she has taken the cougar lifestyle to heart. She is now advertising that her age is 23 and she just won an AMA! She is sporting Big Hair and bleach spattered skinny jeans. When she pulled into the local dollar general Prince or the artist formerly known as, was blaring from the speakers of her new Bose system in her ford escape! One blue hair even fell to her knees for fear that the Lord had returned!then the coondogs from across the street began singing backup therefore starting a riot, prompting the local one bullet police department to intervene. When they arrived they we're so excited that gene simmons was in town that they closed down the dollar general for personal autographs!

Verne im right here!

Verne I'm right here. I survived the night filled with tantalizing big screen vampire love! I went to a Drive-in movie dressed in my skinny jeans and converse wrapped up in my Jonas Brothers snuggie. I did see a few cougars there and feared for the safety of anyone 25 or younger as IV heard that cougars go in for the kill by biting the neck. Oh and thanks Verne for talking Me out of that neck tattoo, I wouldn't want people to think I got bit by a cougar! I arrived home just as dawn was breaking and had myself a day slice of pumpkin pie. I appreciate you leaving the porchlight on. As I heard a soft growl in the hedgerow. But that's another story. For now I'm putting on my running shoes as I head out in my search for my long lost vampire lover before the cougars beat Me to it!

Where is Loo?

Okay, I know I left her right here and now she is gone. 
Oh!  That's right!  She has gone to watch Twilight, that movie about vampires and such.  I don't know why Loo would be interested in that sort of mess, in my day Vampires were the bad guys and not the least bit good looking.  Take Bela Lugosi for instance.  That guy had serious hair issues and was frankly scary enough to make me just turn off the tv and go to bed--with the light on!

But, now people are putting up posters of this Edward guy and fawning all over it.  I had to dissuade Loo from getting a tattoo on her throat of two x-es and a notation that read, "X marks the spot!"  Sad very sad.  I hate to tell all you teeny boppers, but, IT IS JUST A MOVIE!  That guy Edward buys his toilet paper down at the Kroger just like the rest of us!!!  And he DOES eat garlic on his pizza!  So get over it and save your money for something fun, like orthodontia or a perm.

If you want supernatural immortality, well, let's discuss Barry Manilow or Neil Diamond.  Those Jonas Brother can't hold these guys a light to see by.  Courgars of every description would drop any Jonas like a hot potato should Neil start wailing, "SWEET CAROLINE!"  When Barry belts out, "I write the songs that make the young girls cry. . . "  Well, I will just have to tell you, I still stop, close my eyes and sway with the magic.

Loo!  Are you there?  Are you back yet?  Well, I guess not.  I'd better go on home and leave the light on here for her should she return before dawn. Shoot, she might as well stay till dawn, because believe me, Edward ain't going nowhere, but to the house!!!!