Loo Seeks Divine Intervention for New Moon Date

As you may know by now, it is time for me to spiff up my image just a little.  Loo has been on to me to get rid of my blue hair and try as I might, there is always one that makes it through the purple, pink and bleach white process.  I am just going to pluck it out. Anyway, my question is where can I get hold of skinny tight cougar leggings in a size 24W? I have been looking everywhere, but then I keep getting these strange looks and one store slammed the door and turned the "closed" sign over.  I was so depressed I went to Mary's for a hot molten cake with a side of chocolate pie.

I invited Loo to come, but apparently she has decided to take up yoga. And apparently chocolate is off her list--she has replaced it with grub worms and tofu.  Anyway,  I don't know why anyone with a messed up knee would take up yoga.  Maybe she wants to meditate.  Maybe she wants to limber up.  Maybe she has designs on that hot young yogini who just moved into the neighborhood.  I have tried to convinced her that he is gay, but she won't have any of it.  She says there is no way a man that hot could be gay!  I told her there is no way a man can wear THOSE PANTS and NOT be gay.

So we are going to conduct blind comparison research.  We are going to go to the next yoga class and bring along Billy Bob Bubba Roy, the most notorious homophobe in our area.  However, because we can't talk him into wearing leotards for obvious reasons, we are going to dress him in his thermal underwear.  Then, sitting as near to  the front as possible, we shall  look for reactions from the yogini.  If we leave there with Billy Bob Bubba Roy holding him in a head lock and pounding it with his fist, we will KNOW he is indeed gay.  If not Loo will have a sure date for New Moon, next week.  So follow along and see what happens.

P.S. Loo have you seen my cougar print leotards?